


Heavy

by Drarryislife13



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Drarry, Facebook: DRARRY : Fanfiction and Fanart, Fluff and Smut, Gay, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:53:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drarryislife13/pseuds/Drarryislife13
Summary: After the war, Harry feels weighed down by his guilt and memories, and it finally pushes him over the edge. He is given another shot and Hermione turns to Draco to save him. Can Draco pull Harry back?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry - Relationship
Kudos: 74





	1. Heavy Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: Suicide, Depression, PTSD, Possibly some smut at the end.  
> Pleas read the message at the end.

Trigger warning (suicide, depression, disassociation, PTSD)

This is probably going to be a tear jerker.

Harry's POV

I stared at my fingers; every crease, every shadow. They almost looked fake. Like they were drawn by some realism artist.   
"I shouldn't be here." My head kept saying over and over. "It's not fair. So many lives were lost all for 'my cause'. Leaving behind children, parents, loved ones all while I have nothing."

"You shouldn't say that." I heard Hermione's voice say in my head. If she were here right now she'd tell me I have her and Ron, the Weasleys, and little Teddy. I didn't deserve them though. I could barely look at the Weasleys anymore, especially George. I took so much from them. As for Ron and Hermione It was my fault they had to grow up so fast. They never had a childhood because of me. I forced them to risk their lives every time they came back to Hogwarts, all because they were my closest friends.   
Then there was Teddy. He held all my biggest regrets. One look from his beautifully innocent face and every memory of the war flooded back into my brain like tidal wave. Seeing the faces of Remus and Tonks in his, set my every being ablaze. He would still have parents if it wasn't for me.

Everything was starting to crush me again. The weight on my shoulders was heavier now than it ever had been. Even though I was raised with that weight, raised to be a war machine, it felt so much heavier now with every lost soul bearing down on me. I'm suffocating in it. 

When I'm not seeing their faces on the streets I'm seeing them in my dreams. Reliving their deaths one after another; Sirius falling into the vale, Dobby pierced by the dagger, Bellatrix's laugh as she murders Tonks, Dolohov taking Remus down without a care, watching the Weasley's cry over Fred's lifeless body, Cedric lying limp in the graveyard, Snape holding his bleeding throat with tears on his cold cheeks. All of them, even the deaths I didn't see, were in perfect view like some terrible film put on display for me every night. Not even drugs helped.

After Hermione found out she forced me to see both a wizard mind healer and a muggle psychiatrist, but all the sleeping pills, dreamless sleep potions, and healing spells in the world couldn't help me. Maybe I didn't deserve help. I deserve to relive the memories every night. Cursed by their spirits for the rest of my life. On second thought maybe, I don't deserve life. 

My eyes wanted to tear up as I felt my mind breaking for the hundredth time. Maybe I should just give into it. I gripped my hair tightly in my hands and stared at the bottle, my only salvation, sitting on the table. I deserved a muggle way out, then again maybe I'm just afraid I'll survive an unforgivable again.

It would be so easy. Its just a swallow away and Hermione will be here in a couple hours for my appointment, so she'll find my body. Tears started to poor from my eyes as I thought about her reaction. Merlin, could I do that to her. I have to do this. The thought took my breath away. I've decided, but she at least deserves an explanation. I pulled out a piece of parchment and started to write in my best penmanship. I wanted it to be clear, or maybe I was just trying to waist time. 

Hermione,

I'm so sorry you had to find me. I'm so sorry I couldn't do it. I've tried for 4 years now. I tried to be strong for you and Ron... and Teddy. .

As I wrote Teddy's name I felt my chest tighten and tears were now splattering the paper.

It's just too heavy. Please make sure He's taken care of... since I couldn't. Hermione, I'm so sorry the guilt is eating me away. I don't want to see their faces every time I close my eyes. This is what I deserve.

I love all of you, always.

Harry

I rolled the parchment up and placed it beside me on the table, then picked up the sleeping pills. I didn't deserve such an easy way out. I'm sure I'll pass out before I feel anything, but it was all I could think of now. They were right here after all. I shook all the pills out into my hand, there had to be at least 60. 

I started to take them three at a time, with each swallow I thought of someone's face. Someone who lost their life for me, or someone who lost someone because of me. Counting my regrets till I was down to my last two pills. My head was starting to spin, and my eyes felt heavy, my stomach felt like it was on fire, but I loved the burn. I knew it was going to be the last thing I felt. I rubbed my fingers over the last two pills in my hands, and laughed, "I'm coming mum and dad." I swallowed them and laid back on the couch, waiting for darkness to take over. 

I felt hands on my shoulders and opened my eyes one last time. I could see a blurry vision of Hermione's face. She was yelling something, but I couldn't hear a thing. I could feel a blissful smile on my face as I whispered, "You're early." And finally slipped into a beautiful unconsciousness.


	2. Heavy Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione calls the only person she thinks can save Harry, Draco.

Hermione's POV

I gripped his note tightly and Ron's hand in my other, while we sat in the waiting room. I couldn't see straight with the tears in my eyes. I was so angry at him, but i was even more angry with myself.

"If I was just 30 minutes earlier..." I sobbed. Ron shushed me and pulled me close to him.

"You can't blame yourself, and we can't blame him." I tried my best to understand his words, but even for someone as smart as me. I looked at him confused.

"We've done all we can to help him, so we can't blame ourselves, but maybe it's not us he needs. Maybe we're not trying the right things." Ron sounded wiser than ever, for once. We went back to sitting in silence while I thought.

We sat there for about two hours till a healer finally came out to speak with us. "He's finally stable, we've decided to keep him in a magically induce coma for a few days, just to be on the safe side."

"May we see him?" Ron asked.

The healer nodded and led us to Harry's room. I'd never seen him so helpless. I sat beside him and held his hand. "Gods, if only you understood how many people still love you, how many people need you in their life. I don't care if I sound selfish. You're needed harry potter. I wish I knew what you needed, though. I wish I knew what I could say to make you realize you have a place here, that your forgiven and you were never blamed." I whispered into his ear. Suddenly I was struck with a thought. I sat up abruptly "Maybe you just need to hear it from the right person. Stay with him, I need to make a call." I ordered Ron as I rushed out of the room scrolling through my phone in search of the right number. I hit send and it rang twice before the other person picked up.

"Hello?" The voice on the other line asked.

"Pansy? I need your help."

Draco's POV

I was just stepping out of the shower when there was a loud knock on my front door. "Hold on!" I yelled. Who could be here so early. I thought to myself as I threw my button up shirt on and zipped up my pants. There was a second knock even louder than the first.

"Give me a second! Holy Shit! Is it the end of the world or something!?" I yelled again as I approached the door and flung it open.

"Pansy? Why are you here? I have to be at the hospital in..." I looked at my watch, "an hour." She stepped out of the way revealing a disheveled Granger with old tears dried to her cheeks.

"Granger?" I asked gently.

"Draco, we need to talk." Her voice was hoarse and squeaked a little bit, and I was shocked at the use of my first name.

"Come in. Give me just a second to get dressed." I said gesturing to the living room on my way back to my bedroom. 

After I rushed to throw my suit on, and probably did my hair in record time, I joined them in my sitting room.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked. Granger just shook he head.

"D-Draco..." She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, "He... he nearly died again."

Somehow, I knew immediately who she was talking about and I felt the air leave my lungs, "How?" I asked after inhaling deeply. She looked as if she was fighting not to break down again, so Pansy started rubbing little circles on her back.

"Suicide." She managed to choke out as she screwed her eyes tight trying to hold in her tears.

I Could now feel some pricking the corners of my eyes, but I shook them away along with the breaking I felt in my heart. Not able to speak anymore she handed me a small scroll of tear stained crumpled parchment.

Hermione,

I'm so sorry you had to find me. I'm so sorry I couldn't do it. I've tried for 4 years now. I tried to be strong for you and Ron... and Teddy. It's just too heavy. Please make sure He's taken care of... since I couldn't. Hermione, I'm so sorry the guilt is eating me away. I don't want to see their faces every time I close my eyes. This is what I deserve.

I love all of you, always.

Harry

As I read it I couldn't fight my tears any more and one slipped down my cheek. "How could he feel this? How could he be so hurt?" Was all I could think. I looked back to Hermione who was finally pulling herself back together enough to speak.

"Why do you need me?"

This time Pansy answered, "Draco we know you've always loved him." I couldn't find a reply to this.

"You're also one of his biggest regrets." Hermione said looking at me through her eyelashes. I was taken aback by her words. Why was I one of his regrets? "He almost killed you, when he knew you were just a pawn."

"B-but he saved my life." I was shocked at my stutter.

"He doesn't see that as enough. All he sees is the fact you were almost part of the blood shed and directly by his hand. He also regrets not reaching out to you. He thinks he could have done so much more to save you from the torment you endured, if he hadn't been so intent on being your mortal enemy."

I wanted to say something, anything, but I just couldn't find the words. "What do you need me to do?"

"Well..." Hermione tried to say but looked like she was having a hard time finding the question. Pansy placed a hand on her knee and proceeded to speak for her.

"Well after he awakes from his coma, they plan on emitting him into the hospital for a while, probably a long while. We think it would be better if he was with you though." I gave her a puzzled look, "We know you can pull a few strings and get him sent to stay with you. I mean you are one of their top healers."

"But I'm not a mind healer?" I said confused.

"I think you can help more than any of his psychologists and mind healers combined." Hermione finely said.

I sat back in my chair and took another deep breath, trying to clear my mind, "Okay, I'll see what I can do." I stood from my chair and was enveloped into a surprising embrace by Hermione.

"Thank you so much Draco." She said into my lapel. I just returned the hug and nodded my appreciation.


	3. One More Light Part 1

Harry POV

"Is this death?" I asked myself. It's nothing like last time. It’s just darkness. I couldn't feel my body and I kind of like that. There was no pain just complete darkness. Suddenly there as a small pin prick of light, and I found myself afraid of it. I reached out anyways and touched it. It started to grow, and I could feel tingles and warmth cover me. I was now trying to run from it. I knew what it was. It was life.

It gripped me a threw me into a bright room. My eye lid fluttered open, and I threw my head back and sobbed.

"No, no, no, no, no." I repeated, "I'm not supposed to be here."

"Potter you're awake." A quiet face shook me from my cry's and I sat up trying to find the source.

Besides me I could see pale skin reflecting the bright light of the room and shimmering white hair. The pearlescent skin was so bright I couldn't see his features. "Maybe I am dead, maybe he's my angel." I thought.

I heard him chuckle, "I'm far from an angel, Harry." I cringed realizing I had just spoke my thoughts but was quickly pulled from it when I heard his voice whisper my name. It was so familiar but, in the way, that I had realized I'd never heard his voice speak it before. I blinked and rubbed my eyes and finally sharp features and blue eyes filled my vision.

"M-Malfoy?" I said. Shocked to see him sitting beside me.

"Guess you really can't die." There was no malice in his voice, but his word cut into me, as I remembered how badly I didn't want to wake up. My chest tightened, and I fell back onto my bed and curled into the fetal position. Tears were pouring from my face again and I couldn't breathe, but then I felt warmth surround me. Strong arms were pulling me tight against a firm chest, close enough I could feel his heart beat, and for the first time in months I felt comfortable. I was still suffocating but I could feel air being pull into my lungs one tiny breath at a time.

"Shhh, Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that." He whispered, his voice was deep and calming. Something I had never expected to hear from him.

I pressed my face into his shoulder and he pulled me tighter to his chest as I continued to sob. I cried for what seem like an hour before I remembered who was holding me and memories flooded into my brain. I could feel the scar I made on his chest all those years ago. I had almost murdered this man. I pulled away from him and could have sworn I saw hurt him his eyes.

"D-Draco..." I began to cry out, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I d-didn't mean to... I'm so sorry... I didn't know..." He pulled me close again and I tried to fight but his word lulled me to him.

"H-harry, it's ok. It's in the past. I forgave your years ago. If anything, you saved me." He pulled back and wiped some of the tears from my cheeks as he gazed into my eyes. "In more ways than one." There sincerity in his eyes calmed something in me and I fell back into his embrace.

"Harry," he said as he carded his fingers through my hair, "They plan on hospitalize you." He said with a sigh. I shot up knowing exactly what he meant.

"They're going to put me in the crazy bin!?" I began to hyperventilate.

"Harry, please, relax. Breathe, please." He said stroking my back, "I'm not going to let them." My eyes grew wide. "I've managed to call in some favors and make it, so you can come stay with me, until I'm sure you're better." I blinked trying to take in the information. I had a horrible realization.

"H-has Hermione and Ron given up on me?" I asked panic increasing inside me again. What had I done to them? No! How could I do this to them?!

"No, Beautiful, they would never leave you. Hermione just believes I can help you more than they can." Everything about that sentence confused the hell out of me. I just sat there, blinking, again, trying to figure out if this was reality. I don't even think Draco realized everything he had just said in that one statement. Did Draco Malfoy just call me beautiful AND refer to Hermione by her first name!? Not only that there was care in his eyes!

Draco's POV

Three days passed since I went and saw him in the hospital, and it was finally the day he was to be released. Hermione and Ron were picking him up while I made a few final preparations to my guest room. Removing anything that might be used to cause harm to himself and making sure he would have anything he might need.

I was just finishing up by placing the last of his clothes in the dresser when there was a knock on the door. I opened it revealing a smiling Hermione, a skeptical looking Ron and an incredibly frail looking Harry. Never have I been so thrilled and yet so heartbroken in my life. I was over the moon knowing the man I had been in love with for years would be under my roof where I could protect him, but the sight of him before me now completely shattered my heart.

He was a ghost of himself hidden in the shell of his body. I had never seen him this broken before. I was so used to the brave and strong boy I knew I school. The one filled with so much determination it made his beautiful green eyes glow, but the man in front of me right now was nothing but a shadow of that. Those emerald green eyes were pale now and filled with unspeakable amounts of pain and guilt.

I lead them in and offered them something to drink Ron and Hermione both politely decline Harry stayed completely salient.

"Harry?" I said gently, and I touched his shoulder. He continued to stare at his shoes. "Would you like me to show you to your room, so you can rest?" He silently ponders for a moment before nodding and I led him to the guest room leaving Ron and Hermione in the kitchen.

Once there he immediately slipped his shoes off and crawled under the covers, curling up completely under the duvet.

"Harry, if you ever need anything please tell me."

"Thank you, Draco." I barley heard as it was muffled by the blankets. I turned off his light and joined Ron and Hermione in the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of coffee and let out a small sigh.

"Do you need me to come be with him while you're at work?" Hermione asked watching as Ron changed his mind and, also, helped himself to some coffee.

"No, I took a few months off. This is more important to me and it's not like I can't afford it." I smirked but I know sadness still showed in my eyes.

"That little bit or the old Malfoy always manages to find a way to slip out." Hermione said jokingly. I chuckled.

"Thank you, Draco." Ron whispered. He looked a little defeated and I know my face showed my surprise.

"Of course, Ron." I said I reached out my hand for him to shake it. He looked as surprised as I had a few moments ago but shook it as we put our differences aside, knowing we now had common ground. Helping Harry.

We talked a little while longer then they left after checking to make sure harry was okay. He was still fast asleep. I let my head fall against the back of my arm chair for a moment as I ran through a list of everything that I needed to do, but my thoughts were soon interrupted by muffled screaming. I jumped from my chair and ran to Harry's room.


	4. One More Light Part 2

Trigger warning: Suicide attempt and blood

Harry POV

I was standing over his body. His angelic white skin now covered in blood. He wasn't breathing, and soon Snape was pushing me away and kneeling by his side.

"Potter, what have you done?" He said, shock filling his monotone voice.

"I-I didn't know."

"you've killed him." He said standing up from his position.

I began to scream. It was all I could do. I was screaming and pulling my hair as I fell to the ground and crawled to hi side.

"Draco! Draco!" I yelled. "You have to get up! Please!"

Draco POV

I let my head fall against the back of my arm chair for a moment as I ran through a list of everything that I needed to do, but my thoughts were soon interrupted by muffled screaming. I jumped from my chair and ran to Harry's room. I was by his side in minutes.

"Draco! Draco!" He yelled in his sleep.

I began to shake him trying my hardest to break him out of it.

"You have to get up!" He continued to yell.

"Harry! Wake up! I'm here!" I yelled as I shook him. He awoke startled and I was flung hard against the wall by his magic. I shook my head trying to shake away my dizziness and focus on harry. I refused to black out even though I could feel a small trickle of blood down the back of my neck.

"H-harry, I'm' here." I said as I fell to my knees catching myself on the dresser.

"Draco! Oh merlin! What have I done?!" I heard him hell he rushed to help me up but stopped when he saw the blood. I could finally see straight and looked up to see his vacant expression. In seconds he was running into the bathroom adjacent to his room. I stumbled after him, not liking the look I saw in his eyes. A loud crash shook the lasts bit of dizziness from my brain and I ran to him.

He sat on the tiled floor, broken mirror littering the floor, and bloody hand grasping a shard of glass as he pressed it to his wrist. I wrapped my hand around his fighting to take the shard away, but for how frail he was he was very strong.

He started to slice into his skin even with my hand fighting to keep him from doing it.

"Please, Harry!" I hadn't even realized I had begun to sob. "Please." I whispered again. This somehow shook him, and the shard shattered on the floor. He began to sob with me and fell into my embrace.

"D-Draco, I'm s-so s-sorry." He said between sobs. "I don't know w-what h-happened."

I held him tighter, "Please, Harry, y-you have to forgive yourself, for that day. Y-you didn't mean to do it, a-and I-I can't lose you." I buried my tear-soaked face into his soft hair.

"I-I promise, D-Draco, I will try." He whispered. We stayed wrapped in each other's arms on the floor of the bathroom for what felt like hours, but it was only mere minutes, before I finally picked him up, Gods he was so light, and sat him on the counter.

He just watched with sad eyes as I waved my wand and repaired the mirror then set to work fixing his hand. After I was finished, and he was all patched up and blood free he final said something.

"D-Draco, your head?" I carded my hand through my hair feeling the puncture wound on my scalp. There must have been a nail in the wall. "c-can I help you?" I nodded, and he turned me around, so he could clean me up and fix the wound.

"Thank you, harry." I said as I turned and helped him off the counter.

"No, Draco, thank you. I-I didn't realize how much I needed you till now. Thank you for doing this, all of this." I couldn't stop myself from wrapping him in a tight hug and pressing my lips to his head as I whispered, "Of course harry, I would do anything for you, just please let me help you not to hurt anymore." I pulled my head away to gaze into his eyes. There was the faintest hint of a sparkle and it made my heart quiver. He nodded, and I took him back to bed.

"Draco? C-could you stay?" I nodded and after removing my shoes crawled into bed next to him. To my surprise he curled up next to me wrapping my arm around him and fell asleep. I soon followed nuzzling my face into his perfect jet-black hair.

Harry's POV

The morning light that streaming from the bedroom window flooded into my eyelids and I began to stir. I clenched and unclenched my fist trying to figure out why it hurt. Then all memory of last night hit my brain like a truck. I opened my eyes and was becoming aware of the warm puffs of air fluttering through my hair, and the strong arm under my head.

If this had happened years ago, I would have panicked, but instead and smile crept across my face and I rolled over pressing my face to the firm chest beside me. I felt Draco begin to stir.

"Morning." I whispered.

"I can't feel my arm." He quietly chuckled against my ear. Something about the way his breath passed over my skin sent a shiver down my spine, and I reveled in the feeling for a bit. Something about him made me feel less numb.

"Such a nice way to say good morning." I said inhaling his sent.

He chuckled again. "I wasn't saying it was a bad thing. In all honestly I'd be perfectly happy waking up with pins and needles shooting through my hand as long as your perfect head it the cause."

I blushed a deep crimson, "Draco, why do you say things like that?" I asked still hiding my face in his shirt. He cupped my cheek and tilted my head, so I'd look at him.

"Say what?" He asked admiring my blush.

"Say I'm beautiful, or perfect? I'm far from, and even I was why do you care." He could notice the tears forming in the corners of my eyes, so he began to stroke my hair.

"Harry, you are perfect to me. You are and have always been the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on, and I do care about you. Harry I've loved you for years. I've loved you since I first laid eyes on you. I hadn't known it at the time, but the more I watched you, the more I saw your colors show the deeper I fell. You have always and will always mean the world to me."

I was completely at a lost for word. I had no idea he felt that way. I always though he felt the opposite.

"I-I-I..." I tried to say but he placed one finger to my lips.

"Harry you don't have to say it back just because I said it. Please don't say it unless you mean it. Your silence right now won't hurt me, I promise. I'd rather you not say it if you don't mean it than have you lie to me to make me feel good." He smiled and brushed my cheek one last time.

"Now we should get up, we have guests coming at noon and you, my dear, need a shower and some food." He smiled and got out of bed. leaving me missing the feeling of his warm body.

"Visitors!?" I sat up as his words finally hit me.

"Yes." He said opening my dresser and pulling out some clothes for me.

"Who?"

"Aunt Andromeda and Teddy." I felt my stomach turn.


	5. One More Light Part 3

Draco's POV

"Visitors!?" he said sitting up quickly in bed.

"Yes." I said picking out some clothes for him. Something about doing these little things for him filled me with joy.

"Who?"

"Aunt Andromeda and Teddy." I watched his eyes widen and I could visibly see the fear rise on his face.

"Please, no Draco." He begged. My heart broke a little at the quiver I his voice.

"Harry..." I said sitting beside him and gripping his hand, "He's you godson, you made an unspoken promise to him, and he need you more than anybody."

"b-but I... it's just so hard to look at him." He looked down at the bed.

"Sweetheart? How do you think Lupin and Tonks would feel if you, the person they trusted to watch after they only child, left him?" I spoke softly and gently as not to hurt him. He looked up at me with tears starting to spill down his cheeks.

"Y-your right. All this time, I'd been thinking about myself. I never stopped to realize how much that little boy needs me." I wrapped him in my arms and wiped away his tears.

"It’s okay, sweetheart. You have another shot, and I will be right her to help you." I stroked his hair and felt him relax. "Now you go hope in the shower and get dressed and I'll make us some breakfast."

"you can cook?" He chuckled sniffling back the tears.

"Oh potter, there's just so much you don't know about me." I gave him a wink on my way out of the room and giggled as his face went as red as a cherry. "Just so beautiful." I said to myself but loud enough he could hear.

Harry's POV

I watched the clock tick. They would be here in 30 minutes, and I'd be lying if I said I was excited. I wanted to throw up but gulped down my nerves not wanting to waist the amazing breakfast Draco had made.

"Are you okay, beautiful." I blushed at the pet name, and just nodded.

He got up from his chair, sat his book down and took a seat beside me on the sofa. "Harry I can see right through you. I promise everything will be okay. If I notice any change in your behavior or see that you need an out, I will help you. Can you promise me you'll try though?" He had his arms wrapped around me and was staring into my eyes as if he was attempting to see my soul.

I gulped, "I promise."

"Thank you." As he brushed my cheek there was a knock on the door and I jumped. He smiled, "Are you ready?"

"As ready as ever I suppose." He got up and I stood a few feet down the hall as he opened the door.

"Haaaarry!" I saw the little 5-year-old push Draco out of the way and run full force in my direction. I couldn't control the smile on my face when I saw how happy he was to see me and crotched down taking him into my arms and lifting him off the floor.

"Teddy." I giggled as he squeezed tightly around my neck. My eyes never left Draco who had the most amazing smile I had ever seen plastered on his face.

"Harry, I was so scared. Granma said I might not be able to see you for a long time." He pulled away and I looked at his sweet face, tears welling in his eyes. How could I do that to this sweet little boy? I asked myself. I forced the thoughts away and gave him my best smile.

"Well you're seeing me now." He giggled and wrapped his arms around my neck again.

"I missed you." He whispered.

"Shall we move this to the living room? This is the first time I've met my aunt and cousin." Draco laughed as he led Andromeda to the living room. I began to follow with Teddy still on my hip.

"harry who is he? Is he an angel?" Teddy whispered in my ear. I watched a Draco choked back his laughter which Andromeda couldn't do.

"Yes." I replied in a loud whisper as well, not letting my eyes leave Draco's face. He smiled, and I giggled as it was the first time, I had ever seen him blush. It was by far the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen.

I spent the next three hours playing with teddy while Draco and Andromeda caught up. I was happy to see he now had blood relatives he could trust, but that didn't make me near as happy as realizing just how much Teddy loved me. I never realized how much he looked up to me. I was his only father figure, and that awoke a sense of purpose in me.

"Harry, once you feel up to it would you like to start taking him on the weekend maybe even for the summers?" Andromeda asked me.

"I would love to." I said as I held teddys sleepy body. I went to hand him to her, but he gripped my neck.

"I love you daddy." My stomach did another flip as I heard his sleepy voice, but this was a good flip. I hugged him back.

"I love you too." I smiled a truly happy smile and handed him over to Andromeda, and they left.

"So... Daddy." I heard Draco chuckle behind me. I blushed and covered my face.

"Please never call me that again."

"Did that go well?" He asked. I turned and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

"Thank you, Draco." I whispered into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in closer.

"Of course... Daddy." He laughed again, and I let out a growl in mock frustration, only to start laughing with him.

God there was something about his laugh that made my heart pound in my chest. I picked my head up and stared at his face still chuckling with a big, amazing, toothy grin. I couldn't control my actions anymore and brought my hand up to stroke his cheek. I watched as his smile faded, a very brief look of surprise washed over him before he let out a loud exhale, which I could have sworn I head a faint moan, as he melted into my hand.

"Gods, you are an angel." I whispered as it felt like my face was gravitating to his. He opened his eyes at the feeling of my breath against his lips, only to have them flutter shut as I closed the distance. His lips against mine were the most amazing thing I have ever felt. The way they moved the way they tasted, the way his hand found its way into my hair pulling me in deeper, all of it was perfect. We pulled apart panting hard, from the passion.

My green eyes pierced into his Startling silver, and I frowned noticing they held just a tinge of sadness.

"What's wrong, my angel?" He looked surprised at my words.

"I... uh...it just..." I put my finger against his lips.

"You think this isn't real?" He just looked at our shoes. "Draco, I am sure without a doubt that I love you, and I have never in my life felt this way for another person, and it’s not just because you are taking care of me. It all of you. I have never met anyone as caring, as witty, as... beautifully perfect as you." He slowly looked at me through his shimmering blond eyelashes and a smile grew on his face. It was the most marvelous thing I had ever seen, and it sent my heart flustering in my chest.

"You mean it?"

"With all my heart." I said pushing my forehead against his and meeting his gaze, so he could see I really did mean every word I said. He pulled me in for another kiss. This one slower and more loving.

"I love you too, Harry." He whispered against my lips.


	6. One More Light Part 4

A couple weeks flew by with a few visits from Ron and Hermione, Andromeda and Teddy visiting on Sundays, and even Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stopping by. Harry had a hard time with their visit, but we worked through it and him and I were growing closer and closer. We were basically conjoined at the hip. We even started sleeping in the same bed, not on purpose. We would fall asleep in our separate rooms, but when we awoke the next morning, we'd always be in one or the other's, tangled in each other's arms. I was unable to imagine a life without him and thinking about him leaving could bring me to tears. We weren't even officially and item.

There was still one visitor I had been expecting, but he was taking his time, which was okay, because I knew it would be as hard for him as it would be for harry. The day the visit came was unexpected. Harry was relaxing in his room and I was preparing dinner, when there was a quiet knock on the door. I opened it revealing the tall slender red headed boy.

"George? I wasn't expecting you. I said wiping my hands on a dish towel. "Come in. Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Uh... No that's okay, I just came to speak with Harry." He said nervously.

I gave him a smile and a nod. "He's in his room." I pointed him down the hall and he nodded his thanks.

Harry's POV

A gentle tap on my bedroom door brought my attention away from my book. I smiled expecting Draco, "Coooooome in." I said in a sing-song voice. My smile vanished as face that haunted some of my worst nightmares came in. "G-George?" I said sitting up in bed.

"Hi, Harry?"

"w-what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk." He gave me a sad smile and sat down on the edge of the bed with his leg under him, so he could look at me. I crossed my legs and folded my arms across my stomach.

"Talk?" I gulped.

"Harry... I know you feel... responsible...for... Fred's..." He looked at his hands not able to finish his sentence, "But it wasn't your fault. He was fighting for a cause he believed in, a cause all of us believe in."

I looked down trying to hide the tears forming in my eyes.

"I wish I would have come to you sooner. Harry if we would have lost you, I don't know what I would have done. It would be like losing two brothers." He brushed a tear from his eye before it could fall. "Harry, your family, you always have been, and you always will be. There is so many people in this world that love you, and not just because you're the chosen one. Me, mum, dad, Ron, Hermione, and even Fred love you because you're Harry, Our brother and son." He looked up and smiled at me and I returned it even though tears were now streaming down my face. 'Our odd looking, raven haired, green eyed brother, but you eh I guess you still fit in." He chuckled and put me in a head lock as he ruffled my hair, and we both laughed.

"Promise me you'll lean on us when you need to?" He said when he released my head.

"I promise." Harry said as he wiped away his tears.

"Also, mum said you and Draco must come over Sunday night for dinner, and we both know she blow her top if you two don't show." They laughed again.

"We'll be there."

"Bye, Harry." He said, and I followed him out of my room. As he was leaving, he turned to Draco. "You better take care good care of him." He said with a wink and Draco let out a breathy laugh.

"Of course."

After he closed the door behind him, I walked up behind Draco and wrapped my arms around him and watch as he plated dinner.

"How'd it go?" He asked.

"Really well, actually." He turned and pulled me closer to him.

"Good." He smiled and kissed my forehead, "I hope you’re hungry. I've really out done myself this time."


	7. One More Light Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning- smut

Harry's POV

I was laying on Draco's bed watching him as he read and idly ran a hand through my hair.

"Angel?" He smiled and hummed in response.

"What are we?" He blinked a couple of time and sat his book down. I sat up, so I could see his face better.

"I've been wondering the same thing." I straddled his hips and felt his breath hitch a little.

"Well, I love you." I said as I ran a thumb over his jaw.

"And I love you... so" He smiled.

"So?" He flipped us over, so he was on top of me, and I stifled a moan as he bushed his lips against my ear.

"Harry Potter, will you be my boyfriend?" He whispered then gently began sucking on my ear lobe.

"Y-yes, D-Draco." I moaned.

"Merlin, you make me the happiest man on earth." He whispered again. I cupped his face and pulled him to meet his gaze.

"Me too." I said before kissing him passionately. I trailed my hand down his side and cupped his perfect arse through the thin silk of his pajamas, and he let out a moan. I took the opportunity to flick my tongue inside his mouth and he met me half way. Our tongues seem to dance together elegantly, and I could feel myself twitch in my pants.

I lifted my hips just slightly pressing my hardness against Draco's, and he let out a sharp whine in need as he pulled away from my mouth.

"H-harry if you k-keep this up, I'm not going to be able to stop myself." I pulled him in for another searing kiss pushing myself hard against him, just to make him moan.

"So, don't stop." I said against his lips.

"A-are you sure?" He moaned as I continued to ever so slightly pump my hips.

"Yes... I need you." I said as I licked a strip up his neck to the shell of his ear.

"F-fuck." He gasped.

Before he could say another word, I flipped us over again and discarded my shirt. His eyes were watching my every move hungrily. He ran his hand up my torso "merlin, You're so beautiful." His fingers wrapped in my hair and he pulled me down to his lips again as I undid the buttons on his silk shirt. Once I had slipped it off, I let my lips draw a line down his jaw and neck till I reached his chest. My eyes finally caught a glimpse of the scars I had caused, and I looked up at him in silent apology. He gently raked a hand through my hair.

"It's ok." He whispered. I closed my eyes and exhaled, my breath feathered against his skin cause tiny goose bumps to appear. I lean down and kissed his beautifully scared skin. I trailed kissed and licks all the way down it. His breath getting hard with each movement, until I reached them hymn of his pants. I looped my fingers inside and his hips bucked just slightly. I locked up waiting for approval.

"Gods yes, harry. Please touch me." Something about him begging fogged my brain and I tore his pants away with on swift motion. Not even surprised to see he wasn't wearing underwear. I let my eye s trace his now completely naked body, he was so hard for me, and that alone could have been enough to tip me over the edge, but I restrained myself.

I took him in my hand as I began licking circles on his hip giving a little nip every now and then.

"H-harry, w-wait." I looked up to meet his eyes as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"I-I want to see you. All of you. I-I've waited so long..." I push my finger against his lips and gave him a sly smile as I stood from the bed. His eyes widened as I slowly, agonizingly slowly, pulled began to finish undressing. I let my boxes catch on the tip of my cock as I pulled them down and watched as Draco licked his lips.

"P-please harry." He begged. I continued and let my erection spring up out of my now discarded boxers. Draco stood from the bed and in a swift motion pulled me against him capturing my lip.

"Dear gods, the things you do to me." He whispered against my skin and he began to bite and suck a sensitive spot on my skin, surely leaving his mark.

"I haven't done anything yet." I moaned and pressed him back down into the mattress.

"Suck." I whispered as I presented my fingers. He greedily took them into his mouth coating them with saliva. I followed my trail back down to his leaking cock and gently like the tip, savoring his pre-come and enjoying the magnificent squeal he expelled from his lips. I circled his entrance with my slicked fingers as my tongue continues to swirl around his tip, leaving him a writhing mess on the sheets.

As I pushed on finger inside, I began sucking the rest of his length into my mouth.

"Oh...my...Harry...more." He moaned, and I obeyed thrusting in another finger and waiting for him to adjust before making a slow scissoring motion. I sucked him as gently as I could, giving him just enough friction to merely tease him.

"Harry...please..." I begged trying to thrust against me, but I held his hip down with my free hand.

"Please what?" I asked after taking him out of my mouth with a load pop.

"Please... I need...more... I need you.... Please I need you inside me." I moan against him and pulled myself up his body. I dug around in hi side table till I found his lube and giggled at the fact that it was vanilla flavored.

"w-what?" He asked.

"Nothing, your just such a dirty boy." I said before pulling him in for a deep kiss letting our tongues dance again while I slicked up my cock and pressed its head against his entrance.

"Y-yes." He moaned once he felt me against him. I began to push inside him, and he screwed his eyes shut and bit his lips.

"Do you need me to stop?" I asked.

"No! Please don't stop. I need you." He cried as his head fell back. "Gods, Harry, you're so big."

"You're so tight." I said as I bit his shoulder. I took every ounce of control I had not to start thrusting.

Once I could feel him against my hips I stop and waited for him to adjust to my size.

"H-harry please move." He moaned. I began with a slow pace, feeling his warmth squeeze me tightly.

"f-fuck, Draco, you feel so good."

"f-faster." He begged. I began to pick up speed till sounds of skin harshly slapping skin filled the room.

Draco le out a sharp cry as I finally found his sensitive spot and I began to repeatedly pound into it. I felt heat pooling in my stomach as my orgasm began to pool.

"D-Draco, you're going to make me come."

"I'm close too." He screamed, "fucking hell, Harry."

"Come with me, baby!" As I said that we both came undone. Shaking in each other's arms as we rode out our highs.

I pulled out of him and collapsed to the bed.

"holy shit." I whispered.

"Mmhmm" Draco hummed I return and curled up into my arms.

"Merlin, I love you!" I said kissing his head.

He chuckled, "And I love you." He smiled up at me and pulled me in for a sweet and loving kiss.


	8. Heavy Epilogue

Harry POV

The morning light that was streaming in from the bedroom window flooded into my eyelids and I began to stir. I clenched and unclenched my fist trying to figure out why it hurt. I opened my eyes and was becoming aware of the warm puffs of air fluttering through my hair, and the familiar, strong arm under my head.

I smiled looking at the silver band round his finger and rolled over pressing my face into his firm chest. I started to feel my husband begin to stir.

"Morning." I whispered.

"I can't feel my arm." He quietly chuckled against my ear. I giggled and wrapped my arms tightly around him as years of happy memories flooded into my brain.

"Such a nice way to say good morning." I smiled into the nape of his neck and could feel him smiling against my head.

"Do you know what day it is?" He said kissing my forehead.

"Uh? Friday, I believe." I laughed not knowing what he was talking about.

"No, you goof. You have no idea, do you?" He cupped my face staring into my eyes. I just shook my head hoping I hand forgot our anniversary.

"Ten years ago, today you awoke in a hospital bed, after nearly dying." He pressed another kiss against my head. "You've lived ten more years than you wanted to." I Could see a tear forming in his eye.

"I couldn't have done it without my angel." I said pecking his lips.

"No, love, I just gave you a few shoves. This was all you, and I am so proud of you." He kissed me passionately and wiped a tear from my eye.

"I love you." I said against his lips

"I love you too." He whispered. "Now get up! I have a surprise." He said throwing the covers off us. I watched his perfect arse as he walked to our bathroom to get ready.

Draco's POV

"Teddy are you ready yet?" I yelled up the stairs of our house.

"Yeah, da." He said as he came bounding out of his room. We adopted him after we married.

"Well let's go!" I said shoving my boys out the door.

"Draaaco? Where are we going?" Harry whined as we walked down the busy Streets our fingers intertwined as we watched Teddy ahead of us. Laughing every time his head turned to check out some girl.

"To see a friend of mine." I laughed at his pout.

"Seriously, da? Where are we going? I really want to know too." They both gave me their best puppy dog eyes knowing I couldn't resist. God's, I love my little family.

"Ugh, Fine. I got us both an appointment to get matching tattoos." I pulled the drawing out of my pocket and handed them to harry. He gasped.

"Draco, are these the drawings I was watching you do all week last week?" I nodded. "Awe, angel, I love Them. You're getting the lion, right?"

"I decided I'd let you choose and I would happily get the lion if that's what you wanted." I laughed and kissed his nose.

"And I would happily get the snake."

"Do I get one too?" Ted chimed in.

"OH, HELL NO!" Harry and I said in unison. And we both laughed at our fantastic parenting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important Authors Note
> 
> I wanted to write this because this has been something that's been on my mind for awhile. It was inspired by two of my favorite songs, One More Light and Heavy, Both by Linkin park. I just wanted you guys to know, and for all of you out there that need to hear this there is always a reason to keep fighting, and there will always be help to those who need it.
> 
> National suicide prevention hotline- 1-800-273-8255
> 
> https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/


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